Why not, I thought, they're a quarter Scottish.
Give the kids a haggis.
"Some hae meat
and canna eat"
It's a kind of sausage - ketchup anyone?
"Auld Scotland wants nae
That jaups in luggies
But if ye wish her grateful prayer
(don't!) Gie her a haggis"
The Essex genes remain dominant, closely
followed by the Teutonic ones.
Flecks of nicotine coloured neep rest evilly
next to the freshly heated orange fish fingers.
They eat the potatoes.
I scrape ketchup bloodied haggis into the
bin - to the sound of fading bagpipes
in the glen ( overlaid with Eastenders theme tune.)
It's early nights all round.
(What rhymes with haggis then?)